6.9.15 living in the moment

"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner."
-Collette-


While I was on my walk today, my thoughts started wondering, hopping from here to there to pretty much everywhere.

I hate when this happens when I'm trying to go to sleep, but when I'm exercise, it's not at all a problem.

And to be honest, I don't listen to music when I work out [except for yoga].

With all my thoughts jumbled and bouncing everywhere, it may not seem like it's helping to clear my head, but it really really does.

[I highly recommend taking a few workouts media-less and seeing how it affects you. It's an interesting experience.]

Anyways, I was thinking about the past.

Do you ever think about something in your past? But neither regretting nor yearning for it.

Just remembering it, and appreciating it for what it was.

And where it's brought you.

I'm trying very hard to focus on and live in the moment.

In this moment.

It's difficult, and it's not doable 100% of the time [and probably doing that 100% of the time can cause its own problems], but for me it's important to practice this as much as I can.

Remember this post? I mentioned how I have trouble taking my eyes away from the bigger picture and instead focusing on smaller goals, ones that I can accomplish now?

That happens when I'm trying to live in the future. But I can't live in the future.

Because when I try to, I end up just not really living, period.

I was watching a documentary on Netflix called Tiny: A Story About Living Small, and one of the persons they feature was this lady who threw out a thought.

A thought that affected me more than I expected something like that to.

What she said was along the lines of: "You have to get comfortable with who you are. Because who you are may be all that you're ever going to be."

[It's said at ~42:30 minute mark]

And you may think, well obviously I'm going to change throughout my life.

And you're right. Change is inevitable.

But it doesn't guarantee that you'll be more happy than you were before.

I've been, not always unhappy, but certainly always uncomfortable, with myself since the sixth grade. In the span of those 14 years, I have changed a lot.

And I'm still not comfortable with myself.

That's why it's so important for me to live in this moment. I will never be truly content if I can only focus on past or future events. 

6.8.15 goals and aspirations

"Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning."

-Gloria Steinem-

Yes, I'm that person who starts her posts with a quote.

But I promise I'll try to keep them under two sentences.

And they [most likely] will be pertinent to the topic at hand...

...which brings me to the current topic: goals and aspirations.

What can goals really be? I believe that they can be anything.

Is there something you want to be/have/make/do/experience/achieve/etc?

Well, there you go. You have found yourself a goal to strive towards.

Although, I think I prefer the word aspiration to the word goal because aspiration just seems so much more...seraphic.

More enchanting.

Whereas goal sounds like something that involves a lot of grunt work and other not-so-fun stuff, and the end product looks less like a Notre Dame and more like a Centennial Office Building.

I mean, we all know deep down that any goal, any aspiration worth achieving is going to take time, effort, blood, sweat, and tears. It has to be difficult, because if it was easy, everybody would do it.

So although you may balk at the idea of taking on something seemingly-Herculean, if you really want it, don't pass on it.

Break it up into little mini goals. And then break those up into steps. And then, break those steps up into itty bitty baby steps.

For example, completing one homework problem correctly - at this moment in time - is quite a bit more doable than, say, graduating. I mean, the latter is just flat out impossible to achieve in this moment. But you can complete one homework problem in this moment, so do that.

Because if you continue to do that, over and over and over, it will eventually bring you to the moment where obtaining your diploma is what is happening.

Keep your eye on the prize, sure. Of course that is important.

But you absolutely have to direct the majority of your focus at the itty bitty baby steps. They're not always fun, and they are hardly ever glamorous.

But they also aren't overwhelming, nor are they so ambitious that you cannot finish.

Plus, it is very...refreshing, to be able to celebrate the mini accomplishments on your way to the big one.

And that is necessary to keep you from losing steam along the way.